Partly Facetious: Man who shall remain nameless

“The capital is not abuzz with Mian sahib’s prime ministerial handling of the Economic Co-ordination Organisation summit where member countries dignitaries got to see a Saville Row clad Prime Minister…”

“Hang on, hang on, you really expect the Prime Minister to go hold a jalsa in I don’t know Gujranwala and wear his Saville Row suits? Do you have any idea how expensive they are?”

“But cutting ribbons do merit an expensive suit, don’t you think! I mean the project is certainly worth a lot more than the suit, however expensive, and like Saville Row is to men’s suits Mian sahib’s projects are to previous projects – way too expensive.”

“Hey back off the guy! You know and I know that Mian sahib is in the election mode so Saville Row suits for a moot with foreigners and a loose shalwar kameez, of good quality Pakistani cotton, for local people.”

“But I saw the Iranian head of government wearing his national dress.”

“Well, obviously Mian sahib is not following his example. Anyway, the capital is also not abuzz with the Pakistan Super League and which has gripped the entire nation…”

“You are just jealous of the Man Who Shall Remain Nameless for pulling this coup. And had he been the head of government I would have added the word d’etat.”

“God, you are in a facetious mood today. Anyway, the capital remains abuzz with who would be Mian sahib’s heir in the event of a shall we say a negative Supreme Court verdict.”

“What’s the mystery there! Mian sahib’s heir in terms of cash, assets and all worldly goods remain his children, his dutiful children who do not, I repeat do not, challenge his decisions.”

“Are you referring to the Bhutto-Zardari girls’ views on Irfanullah Marwat? I agree with them and…”

“But can you imagine the First Children saying anything about anyone who their dad inducts into the party?”

“OK, no, so who would be Mian sahib’s political heir? I mean the First Daughter seems unlikely now, the A in the AID maybe implicated with the First Children – and before you ask again ID is for Ishaq Dar, that leaves only The Sadiq… Sadiq means honest and as Ayaz Sadiq is the only one by that name…”

“But doesn’t a sharif trump a sadiq!”

“Not in our constitution my friend, though an ameen is a close second.”

“Oh shush.”