Partly Facetious: I often support conspiracy theories


“Nah nah nah phooh phooo.”

“So what now?”

“Now the focus is on our conspiracy theorists – need I add the single largest group within the journalist community and…”

“As long as there is logic I support conspiracy theories.”

“Right and logic is backed by the oft repeated phrase there is no smoke without fire.”

“True but sometimes in this country the fire is before the smoke.”

“Hmmm, that’s silly, not profound I mean…”

“Let me give you an example – the confrontation between the civilian law enforcement personnel, notably from Punjab and the capital, and the Chief Minister Khyber Pakhtunkhwa who was attempting to reach Islamabad with a large number of supporters cannot be defined as smoke right? That was the fire… and smoke followed with the thanksgiving jalsa scheduled.”

“OK, OK I back down, it wasn’t silly and this is not a U turn, I am backing down in the national interest and…”

“Don’t be facetious anyway let me present my theory to you based on a sequence of events. First the petitions filed in the apex court by the Khan and his sidekick Sheikh Rashid on setting up a commission to investigate the Panama papers were all dismissed by the Registrar who, so a lawyer told me, cannot simply reject a petition of such relevance without consulting the Chief Justice…”

“Yes he can, technically and…”

“Moving on later the court accepted the petitions and lo and behold all the parties backed down – the Prime Minister whose lawyer wanted more time but was given only two days and the Khan who converted his dharna or lock down into a jalsa and then there…”

“I see where you are going with this? So who do you reckon is the third umpire? The judiciary or the army with reports circulating that the Chief talked to the Chief Justice, or both?”

“To be on the safe side I would say c.”

“I didn’t give you three choices for you to say c.”

“But…but you give three options….”

“Hey I am the captain and I am formulating a strategy to…”

“Hey stop… an Ameerul Momineen trumps a captain every time”.

“But the two are equal in that they are leaders of their party and….”

“An Ameerul Momineen…”

“Oh dear.”

Source: Business Recorder

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