Partly Facetious: Why a tractor trolley? Why not a Pajero?

“A tractor trolley?”

“Well, he is from the village isn’t he? I mean if he was from the city he would have referred to a Pajero…”

“I thought he was from Sialkot… besides I doubt even if he was a villager he would have referred to Shireen Mazari as a Pajero…not the Khawaja Asif we know today, a Pajero is the most expensive and sought after car by our politicians and that is not what…”

“What do you mean the Khawaja Asif as we know him today?”

“Well, let’s go back to the time when the PML-N was not in power: Khawaja Asif took on RR in the court on the rental power projects and…”

“RR as in Rolls Royce?”

“Don’t be facetious, RR as in Raja Rental though even at that time Khwaja Asif was not creative enough to coin the epithet Raja Rental…that was Faisal Saleh Hayat if I remember correctly.”

“But he with Faisal Saleh Hayat was successful in stopping the Treasury during the government of RR from losing too much in renting power plants.”

“Oh, but Chaudhry Iftikhar was the Chief Justice at the time – you know usually our lawyers win cases when their party is in power – you know the prosecution is deliberately weakened which helps but Chaudhry Iftikhar was no PPP lover if you recall…”

“Hmmm! Did you see how Khawaja Asif who claimed during a National Assembly session that he alone is enough to browbeat the opposition was sitting in a cowed manner during the recent meeting with the military leadership?”

“So was Ishaq Dar and the Foreign Office B team, but I thought Sartaj Aziz seemed fine; though after Mian sahib gave Khawaja Asif two portfolios I have it on good authority that he has acquired a parliamentary lodge which, in the interest of saving electricity, he shares…”

“Stop right there! Let’s not do unto the Khawaja what Khawaja does unto the opposition.”

“So that means he is a bully right: browbeat those he reckons are weaker and seem browbeaten in the presence of those he reckons are stronger.”

“OK, but you have to appreciate his perception of who is stronger and who is weaker is getting stronger and…”

“Don’t be facetious, one question: what would Khawaja Asif have referred to had he been in the military?”


“But we are not getting them at a subsidised rate and need I add the Americans are sending the same-o same-o to allay our post drone strike anger – Olson who holds a charge limited to Afghanistan and Pakistan and…”

“OK, so how about a locally made Al-Khalid tank which has a fire control system?”

“Oh, stop it…”

Copyright Business Recorder, 2016