Partly Facetious: Zardari is no Shylock

WEB DESK: “So what is Mian sahib willing to offer Zardari sahib?” “Zardari sahib is no Shylock, you know who that was?” “I am not FA pass, I have a Masters degree.”

“That was not my question! You educated people can’t resist snobbery but let me tell you that an FA pass maybe more deserving of a masters degree than someone who actually went through the ropes.” “Went through what ropes?” “The ropes of learning.”

“That reminds me of monkeys, you know they can climb ropes.” “It’s a sport that super fit humans also engage in my friend.” “OK, I give up, anyway I know Shylock is a fictional character in a play by Shakespeare, he was Jewish and the collateral he demanded was the borrower’s pound of flesh.

And granted that in our country money lenders are not Jewish but they mostly belong to one ethnic group which need I add is a linkage between the PTI and usury…” “Are you in a Khawaja training camp?”

“No, though I heard of training of our cricketers under the army…what would the man who shall remain nameless think of next?”

“See we come back to the topic of what Mian sahib will offer Zardari sahib for support because if the man who shall remain nameless is forging ties with the army then perhaps a change is in the offing…” “What a conspiracy theorist you are! Anyway I have heard that Zardari sahib will be offered the presidency in return for support on Panama….” “Hmmm, that’s a good offer.

The pros are he would have immunity so he can return, the presidency would again be worth covering for us journalists, as the president during the caretaker set up he can have some voice shall we say in how the elections will turn out – a lesson learned from 2013 elections, he will be in a position to give jobs in the centre to some of his people, he will…” “Any cons?”

“He may alienate more Zardis and need I add our politicians are more prone to taking the high moral ground when the party is not in power….besides he must know that his party has gained the most from the Panama papers in terms of relevance.”

“And where would The Mamnoon go?” “Back to his ice-cream parlour and need I add that would keep him cool.” “And what about his children?” “That maybe a problem – see expectations of children rise exponentially with the office their parent holds and so they may need something more concrete than the parlour to keep cool.”-Business Recorder