Movie Review: Mastizaade


MUMBAI: During an episode of “Freinds”, that all-pervasive pop culture phenomenon of the 90s, a character asks Joey Tribbiani, “How can you make jello sound dirty?”, to which Tribbiani replies, “Oh, I can make anything sound dirty.” Milap Zaveri may have been unduly influenced by this line, because in “Mastizaade”, he takes up the challenge very seriously.

Every word and object on screen, including soda bottles (a bottle of diet soda is called Poke), is laced with innuendo in this sex comedy. Zaveri’s KRA seems to have included making snide remarks about female anatomy and male prowess in every second line.

Between writing last week’s “Kya Kool Hain Hum 3” and directing and writing this film, Zaveri seems to have spread his writing talents rather thin; the desperation to make a joke out of literally anything is evident from the word go.

Tusshar Kapoor and Vir Das are friends who work in an ad agency, but their real occupation seems to be to try and ensnare every woman they lay their eyes on. They claim to have something called “chicks ray vision”, a magical quality that enables them to undress a woman with their eyes. But when twin sisters Lily and Laila Lele (even surnames aren’t spared the double entendre) make an appearance, the duo fall in love. Sunny Leone in a double role doesn’t do much except show skin… lots and lots of skin.

There are token obstacles in the duo’s path, like a fiancé on a wheelchair (yes, there are plenty of jokes targeting disability), a gay man who lusts after Tusshar Kapoor, and horses who always seem to get in the way.

To say that this is humour of the lowest grade would be stating the obvious. The fact that it is played by actors who don’t seem to possess an iota of acting talent or screen presence makes it even worse.

“Mastizaade” is another example of Bollywood’s belief that even if you sink to the depths of mediocrity, there is someone out there who will still come and watch your film.