Feminists relax, It’s not easy being a man either


By Meryum Khalid

Some feminists will often cite male privileges and male dominance as evidence of not only patriarchy but also of women abuse, their miseries and even hurdles in their way to equality.

From where I see it, women who just whine for empowerment and equality are the ones damaging the power of women the most. Their approach and mindsets are the biggest hurdles in the road to equality. A really important question that needs to be posed here is: ‘Are women really ready for equal rights?’  I do not confirm to it.

As a women, if you expect your husband or your boyfriend  to pay your bill or pull out chair for you when you are out on a dinner with him, you expect men to offer you seat in the bus, you don’t want to stand in a que,you want  to sit at home because working outside home is not your cup of tea, your only ambition is to marry a financially sound guy and to live happily ever after, your ticket to abroad is getting married to a guy living there, and then at the same time you expect society to treat you equal to men, then let me tell you, it is not going to happen any sooner and none but you are the reason behind it.

Much has been written and said about ‘male privileges’ but there are ones that women enjoy without being guilty and with entitling mentality. Here I’m going to codify the privileges that most if not all females enjoy.

If I hit a guy in public that’s okay,he must have done something deserving, but if a guy hits me oh my god! He is abusive.

When I marry a man with status, I can take his name and become whoever he has spent years becoming. I need not do anything special to be worthy of receiving the reputation he has built. However, if I wish to keep my own name I can do so. Should my husband feel the sting of this insult, I can simply call him a sexist for it.

People will help me more when I’m in need and I will receive no social penalty or stigma for it. If I’m on a date, things will be paid for me.

When I look for a job I can choose jobs which I think are fulfilling without being concerned of whether they provide a “family” wage.

At 18, I lose the protective status of the child but retain the protective status of the female while boys lose the protected status of the child at the same age and become targets if they fail to gain status after that point.

If I fail at my career, I can blame the male dominated society. I may have the luxury of staying home and being a housewife but if my sister’s husband does the same thing, I’m likely to call him a deadbeat loser and tell her to leave him.

If I abuse my husband and physically assault him and the police arrive it is almost guaranteed he will go to jail.

The list is too long so let me give it a break here.

My point is that if women want equality and empowerment they need to give up the privileges they enjoy because with equal rights comes equal responsibility. They need to change their approach in order to change the mindsets of the people to get equality. Many abusive behaviors that women encounter are somehow due to their dependency on men.

We need to educate young girls and our daughters. We need to teach them to have self-respect and to maintain their dignity and morals. We need to assure them that they are not weak creatures and they don’t have to cry or whine every time to get things done. We should stop focusing on how early they should get married and start raising them in a dignified and independent manner. We should teach them to hustle like a man so they never have to depend on one.

I believe that every girl’s ambition should be more than just soaking chicken in the morning to make lunch.

*the writer is a media science student at Bahria University

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